Over a year ago I used to be very into seasonal décor, specifically with an attachment to Fall and Halloween décor. I used to be the place where we all gathered at every holiday and family event.
We now do it but with less members and that’s ok.
I no longer decorate seasonally except for plants and a Christmas tree. So, I sold or donated most of my seasonal décor with the exceptions of some wreaths. And that’s ok
The value and time that minimizing these events and accoutrements made way for less mental, physical and emotional clutter.
While I still enjoy the décor I do it from online or in a store. If a spooky loving baddie posts their décor, I don’t judge them or even envy them. I can start up if I want to. I talk about how awesome the set-up is. Sometimes when I’m out I’ll sent photos of where they can get unique stuff and let them know.
I live my days being creative in other ways while also having a sense of peace with the amount of energy and time I’ve save by not taking down and putting back up seasonal displays.
I also have my attention more in the present which is why I was able to appreciate this spider web. I guess I am still decorating seasonally I just lean more to the organic.
What say you are you a seasonal decorator or a minimal decorator?
When my brother and I were growing up we had a single mother who we knew did not have any extra money. In fact, we both started contributing to the household with money before we were 18. I’m not mad or even offended. It taught me value and work ethic that has served me well all my life.
I did as most people do, I didn’t ask my kids for anything beyond house chores or paying for their own obligations like if they wanted a new iPhone or wanted a game subscription.
As my children have all become over 18, I’ve “helped” out each of them differently at times over the years. It’s so hard to be “fair” when they have needed help.
Here is some of the guidelines we have in place for them that we try to use.
They need to ask for help. If they ask, then we aren’t creating the possibility for resentment later and it shows they have looked at their situation and assessed their needs.
It must be a need and not a want. (This often can be the issue what they want they think is a need.)
We have a fluctuating income because we are self-employed. The amount we can help with is based on our current liquid resources. We will not go into debt, and we aren’t going to risk our own obligations.
If we do give them money for bills, we want to see receipts or we will pay the bill directly.
If you have adult children whom you’ve helped what are your suggestions or share some of your stories of lesson learned. I’d love to hear
Once upon a time I was a writer. I was a published author, and I was an award-winning blogger. Once upon a time I had a psychic reading, and she told me my guides kept showing her a stack of books with dust on them and blank pages. So, this is my effort to be a writer again. I’m picking up the challenge of writing every day for 30 days. Writers write. So, I’ll start with that.
I’m on the hunt for the perfect morning opening shift tasks as well as closing shift tasks. I used to be a server and each section you were assigned at different times of day had different restaurant responsibilities. The goals being helping the future staff that would be there at a different time.
That’s my motivation to always be helping the collective (my family) and to relieve the burdens of future Bri by being willing to do what’s needed in the present.
Currently my morning looks like this…
3AM-4:30AM
Wake up, get dressed, meds, take care of dogs, scroll, drink coffee
4:30AM-6:00AM
Gym, Raise Frequency, Read, Stretch
6AM-7:30AM
Shower, make bed, Open curtains, dressed, mediate, affirmations, breakfast, take care of dogs, water plants, Write, Unload dishwasher
As of now my closing shift consists of …
6PM-7PM
Take care of dogs, load dishwasher, pjs on, meds taken, get in bed, scroll until I fall asleep
I feel satisfied with my opening habits. Its these closing tasks that I think could be better.
What do you do to start and end each day to support you own health, happiness, and household?
Most days I wake up thinking most of my children don’t love me. What’s worse is it’s my fault. I was the one who taught them how to operate and function in relationships. This purgatory is one of my own makings. What’s worse is 2 of the 4 kids I didn’t get the chance to bare. They are my adopted stepsons whom I raised from 6 and 3. As I raised them I always imagined that they would appreciate me one day. One day we’d be friends and be close when they had mates. One day when they had kids. One day when they moved out.
They are all adults and one day hasn’t happened. But again, it’s my own mess I made. The only child I have that sees me is my youngest. She is in her 20s and has been a witness to her parents aging and health problems. I had a couple near death experiences she was witness to. Perhaps this has made her realize the humanity that I carry.
I’ve read many books and blogs on the subject. A common denominator is the boy mom burden. It would seem the wife’s family takes priority in many things. From holidays even Mother’s days to weekend visits. It’s something I’ve seen in my own life.
But that isn’t the wife’s fault. She is cultivating her own relationships and already mentally carries a lot. She shouldn’t be blamed from the lack is connection between her husband and his family.
So here I am at the impasse that is my burden. Destined to continue in the purgatory of my own making. Loving a daughter and two sons who only see me as an entitled resource. Until the day I pass and then maybe they will realize how important I really was. But then there is no joy even then. Because I’ll be gone but still watching and there is no joy in seeing your kids suffer. Which is why I find myself in this purgatory.
Do you have any suggestions? Because so far talking to them hasn’t helped? If you are a mom with a good relationship with your kids any advice is appreciated. Thanks
In 2024 I became a minimalist. When I say that I get a lot of reactions. Some people get embarrassed, some are intrigued, others are defensive, especially when I’m standing in their homes that they want me to renovate. (If you didn’t’ know I’m a residential home builder and renovator at Bri the Builder.) When I first mentioned it to my children, they rolled their eyes and locked their bedroom doors.
One year later I’ve accomplished so much.
The reality of my version of minimalism is about living life with intention. Down to the possessions I own. They have to serve a purpose, make me happy, or be useful. Since I became a minimalist, I have paid off $100,000 in debt. I started another business and doubled the gross income of the business I have now. I started a book and a blog. I lost 50lbs and reduced, sold, or donated over 75% of my possessions.
That is what I mean when I say I’m a minimalist. I do things with great intention and value. But people still sometimes don’t get it. So I thought I would use a visual example and a story. Because who isn’t visual and who doesn’t love a good story.
This was my living room after the Christmas decor was put away at the end of 2024. I was so excited to clean, organize and put away my decor that I did it on Christmas day. Only I still wasn’t happy with my living room. Which is where I spend majority of our time at home. It’s because of the couch that goes down the center of the room. We bought it two years before and the dogs and intermittent visitors sit on it. It was meant to create seating for our two college age daughters to sit with us. Only they are busy and when they are home they are in their rooms. So the couch wasn’t useful it was in the way.
Here is where minimalism by intentional living comes into play. I sold the couch. And moved it out of the way. Now the dogs are sitting on their little beds and in their kennels. I have a wide open space. There is plenty of room for activities. (But if the need for more seating comes up, I have a recliner in our parlor we can move that’s only a third of what was there before. That’s the thing about living minimal. It’s a verb not an adjective.
The flip side is Minimalism by design would be getting rid of that dog kennel on the floor by my bigger furniture kennel. I tried to remove it. My dog, Benjie, ran through the bars. He went and sat in the spot where his kennel used to sit. I want something cleaner and more pleasing. I’m not trying to make my dogs miserable because I have a design aesthetic in mind. That’s where I’m not a minimalist by design but by purpose.
What do you prefer with the couch or without?
Thanks of reading. Your views are something I’m grateful to view.
If you are followed along then you know that today is step IV. You need to do step I, step II, and Step III to get the hack and not be overwhelmed. If you are doing those then you have all your bills set up on a calendar around their due dates.
First, take another calendar for a 30 day interval. Then, set your bills to be paid on Fridays only.
If your electric bill is due on a Wednesday, pay it the Friday before. Alternatively, you can pay it the Friday after. Additionally, this should also be set up on a 4 Friday a month rotation. Some bills will be early and some bills will be a little late. But do not pay bills late that would incur late fees like a credit card.
It will take a minute to get this figured out and you have to adjust. But, once you do it for the first 30 days the next 30 becomes easier. And here’s the way this budget set up gets you extra paychecks.
In the year of 2025 there are 4 months where we get a 5th Friday. (January, May, August, October)
If your bills are paid based on 4 Fridays, this 5th Friday is essentially an extra week of pay. You don’t need to assign it for bills.
You can use that money to build a savings, pay off debt, go on a trip, do home renovations. The choices are endless. And the best part is that you don’t have to work any extra hours to get it.
This was how I set up my bills when I was drawing a weekly pay check. It will be uncomfortable at first. You will say things like why am I paying a bill early. That’s your ego talking and it’s been in charge now for a while and what has it got you? Try this and see if it works. If it doesn’t you can always go back to the discomfort you know so well.
I hope you find this resource helpful. Please let me know how it worked for you in the comments. Let me know if it didn’t work for you as well.
In Kindness
PS: Credit to Linna Mitchell who taught this to me many years ago as a young mother. I hope this finds someone else who will benefit from it as I did.
Once I watched a video of Mel Robins discussing her Letting Go theory. For a while I was applying it to my life consistently. Then I went back to my old patterns of thinking. Not completely but some ways. Yet, I didn’t realize it until recently. I watched the whole podcast episode by Mel. I understood that I had been applying it for months to my son’s and new daughter’s wedding and reception. It’s only now upon listening to the whole thing that I realize the rewards of this application.
Before any of my children were old enough to marry, my husband and I made a decision. We would gift our children and their new spouse with a lump sum of money. The only caveat was that we both needed an invitation to the wedding. We would only gift this once in their lives for a wedding. After seeing so many skits on Tiktok of overbearing parents I was very aware of how damaging that could be. We did not want to be those kinds of inlaws.
The opportunity to put my money where my mouth is came up, as life usually does. Our son and future daughter-in-law got engaged. We gave them our congrats and a check. They found a venue. They saw an opportunity in the schedule and decided to plan a wedding and reception in around 90 days. As a parent, I instantly had reservations. I thought of all the challenges. I also considered the stress they would face in this time crunch. But it wasn’t my job to say anything. I “let them” plan and continue. This came up many times. And I tried often to keep my mouth shut or offer feedback where they make their own decisions. I’m not sure what grade they would give me. The overall consequences of “letting them” do what they wanted were surprising. They did it in a completely different way than I would have. It was wonderful. The wedding and reception were a work of art made exactly for the bride and groom. And what’s even better, we didn’t fight or bicker. We were never uninvited as so many other parents have been, I saw in my Tiktok fyp.
The Let Them Theory is a book I’m very much eager to read on Christmas Eve when it releases. Which is tomorrow. What books are you looking ahead to reading in the coming year?
I’ve done it the way “you’re supposed” to do it two times now. And both times I didn’t achieve happiness. Hi, I’m Bri Clark. I’m a forty something American. As I enter midlife with my husband, I’m doing it my own way. It starts with deconstructing all the bullshit that I’ve earlier been taught. For example, people often equate happiness and success with home ownership, the newest vehicles, clothes, and gadgets. They also strive to make the most money possible, accept every job, and charge top dollar. This often leads to sacrificing your quality, your values, and mental health.
Yeah, I’m not interested in that anymore.
Then what’s left?
That’s the fun part, figuring it out. We live minimal but intentional lifestyles. That’s a very adverb driven statement. But it’s a fluid and adaptable concept of living. I’m on the verge of empty nesting. My daughters are college students and live their own lives while also living with us. Their domains are theirs to do as they see fit within reason. As they prepare for their launch, I have the chance to reimagine life with my husband. We can experience being a couple for the first time.
The hubs and I go to the gym every day except weekends. We walk together nightly. We eat our meals at or from home. We grocery shop together. We camp together and go on trips. Basically, we are enjoying a courtship we missed out on from the beginning. We actually have been redefining family from our first date.
In 2001, we got married. I was 18, and he was 25. He was a single father with two sons who were 6 and 3. Shortly after, we had two daughters, and we were a family of 6. As a successfully blended family, most people don’t realize my sons are not biologically mine. But being a ready-made family dismissed any opportunity to be a couple. Now we are getting the chance to do it as midlife married partners. And it’s fun as hell.
But in the beginning, we did everything we were supposed to in order to level up from the generation before. And we lost it all only to rebuild again.
In 2024 We achieved almost every goal we set out to achieve. We paid off $100,000 in debt. We donated, sold, or discarded 50% of our possessions in our home and in our businesses. We went on six camping trips. We dropped our outgoing expenses in our personal and business expenses by 40%. We built several homes and additions for clients. We did kitchen and bathroom renovations. We also focused on the health and lifestyle goals I mentioned above. 2024 was a wonderful year of transformation. We found a life of great joy with simple and intentional daily choices. We want to take that same energy going into 2025.
In 2025, we have specific goals. We want to pay off all our automobile debts. We also aim to have a larger savings of operating capital. We plan to build 4 houses and buy our own lot. We will build a house to sell, rent, or live in ourselves. Additionally, we aim to build 4 additions and continue to do kitchen, bath, and home renovations. We are maintaining our healthy lifestyles and building on them. We plan to go on 6 camp trips. We also want to take a trip to Europe. Additionally, we hope to visit our kids in Idaho and our grandson. We seek to become a certified woman-owned business with Bri the Builder. We hope to launch Bri Excavations and make a profit. Additionally, we aim to become a professional blogger and write and publish a book.
Welcome to our journey through my eyes. We are ending 2024 and going into 2025. What are some things you accomplished in 2024?
Bri Clark 