We all have a closet of “someday.” Someday I’ll wear that dress. Someday I’ll learn to use that bread maker. Someday I’ll get back into that hobby.

But here’s the hard truth: “someday” rarely comes.

When I was minimizing, I realized most of my “someday” stuff was actually holding me back. The dress mocked me for not being a different size. The kitchen gadget reminded me of a skill I never picked up. The supplies collected dust and guilt.

So I let them go. And you know what? Someday never mattered. What mattered was today. Today I had space in my closet. Today I had less guilt. Today I had more room to live.

If you’re stuck with “someday” things—ask yourself: would keeping this make my today better? If not, it’s time to let it go.

I’ll never forget the first morning I walked into my living room after a week of minimizing. The shelves were clear, the coffee table was bare, and for the first time in years—I could see space.

It felt like my home was breathing again.

That’s the thing about clutter. It sneaks up on you. You don’t notice how much noise it makes until it’s gone. Once I cleared it out, I realized how heavy it had felt to live with it. Every corner, every pile, every drawer was a to-do list I hadn’t tackled.

Minimalism gave me permission to put that burden down. And now, when I walk into my home, I don’t feel the weight of “should.” I just feel peace.

If your home feels heavy, maybe it’s time to give it a chance to breathe again.

If I had waited for the “perfect” time to start my health journey, I’d still be sitting in my recliner with my joints aching, telling myself, “Next Monday.”

The truth? I started when my gallbladder was making my life miserable. I was in pain, bloated, and tired all the time. Hardly the Instagram-worthy “new year, new me” moment.

But I was done waiting. I swapped my comfort food for real food, cut back on drinks, and figured out how to move my body without injuring it. And you know what? Starting imperfectly still worked.

Don’t wait for a perfect Monday. Start on a random Thursday at 3 p.m. with whatever you’ve got. You’ll thank yourself later.

Let me tell you about my first real workout in years—it was… walking in a circle. Yep. At the YMCA. On a cushioned track. Over and over and over again.

At first, it felt almost embarrassing. Was this even a workout? I wasn’t sweating buckets or gasping for air. But it was the first thing I found that didn’t wreck my joints or leave me limping the next day.

For two years, I walked that track 3-5 days a week with my husband. No gym intimidation, no pain, no fancy equipment—just us and our sneakers. I walked the circle while he lifted weights and the magic? I actually looked forward to it.

Sometimes the “best workout” isn’t the one that burns the most calories—it’s the one you can actually keep doing.

I have been on a health journey my whole life. But now in my 40’s and as an empty nester I am finally making lasting changes. 

For several years I had one health repair after another, thyroidectomy, complications from said surgery, partial hysterectomy (that one I loved) then finally I a gallbladder eviction. 

This was all over the course of 3-5 years. 

Two years ago, thanks to the pain from having my gallbladder whither, I was very motivated to change my eating and drinking habits. Then after the surgery I continued the same lifestyle changes. 

After I healed I wanted to be active. But I was almost 300 lbs and had some joint complications from some of my autoimmune disorders. If you’ve ever been obese and then tried to be active you know the pain. In another season I used to walk 40 miles a week. But I was also on phentermine and in my 20’s. While I was losing weight, I was also losing muscle mass. I was not doing it correctly and did eventually gain it back. 

 Now in my 40’s I am wiser and looking for lifestyle changes I can sustain and enjoy

But where to start with my fitness?

I tried to walk outside. While I love it cement, and black top are too hard on my body at that size. Pool? Can’t do it I get too many yeast infections. Walking on a treadmill? Same issues as walking outside. Then I found the YMCA in my town has a walking track inside made of  a thick matt that circles the work out area. For 2 years I went and walked 3-5 days a week with my husband. I also started incorporating stretches and massage therapy. Now 2 years I am 6 pounds away from losing my 100lb weight loss goal. 

I feel amazing and I’m inspired to try many new things or to pick up things I promised myself I’d do when I was an empty nester or healthier. Two promises I’m keeping to myself.  Now I workout in a personal home cardio room where I actually walk on a treadmill. (I actually enjoy it and have no pain!) I have so much more energy but mostly I have more joy. 

And this all started by small and simple changes. (Learned from reading book Atomic Habits)

I’ve been asked if I can link some of the things that have helped. They are below. And I do make a small commission off some of these. FYI we all trying to hustle out here. 

Treadmill

Mushroom Coffee

Atomic Habits

1 min read

As a person I have a habit of being invested in people’s success. I don’t pray for people I root for them like they are my children. Which to some can be overwhelming when I ask a lot of questions. When you answer these questions, I’m hearing you and seeing all the steps it takes to reach the goal that you claim you want to reach. 

And guess what I’m invested in you reaching that goal too! I’m your cheerleader. I’ll send you a text asking about how it’s going. I’ll see something you mentioned you need and I’ll get it and give it to you. My hair dresser and my nail tech are close friends and I have the best appointment just talking about their wins and their challenges.

I’ve thought everyone knew that was my reason behind it…until recently.

I was speaking to someone and they said you already know the answer so why you being nosey. Only I didn’t know that was the answer which is why I asked for clarification. 

When they said that it planted a seed in me that maybe I need to be more clear and gave me an opportunity to reflect. (Only after I was offended. Because ya’ll I’m human.) So in the future if you catch me asking a lot of questions its because I want to help. 

How do you root for those you love?

A Journey of Rediscovery, Fulfillment, and Self-Respect

When the house is hushed and the last child’s laughter has faded into memory, a new chapter begins—one written in the ink of promises made long ago. As an empty nester, I find myself looking back to those challenging, beautiful, and sometimes exhausting years as a stay-at-home mom. In the quiet spaces now, I hear the echoes of the commitments I made not only to my family, but to myself. This is the story of how I have chosen, at last, to honor those promises—breathing life into dreams deferred and nurturing the self that waited patiently in the wings.

Remembering the Promises

Motherhood, especially the stay-at-home kind, is often characterized by self-sacrifice. It is about prioritizing the needs of children, family, and home above all else. Yet, within that selfless devotion, there were moments when I paused and quietly vowed: “When the time is right, I will…” Sometimes these promises were whispered late at night, as I tucked away another day’s worth of worries, or scribbled in the margins of a planner filled with boy scouts, dentist appointments, and science projects.

I promised to return to my art—the writing. I promised to travel, to places both near and far, that called to me from travel magazines and friends’ stories. I promised to invest in my health, to read more fiction, to reconnect with friends, to sit in silence and let my own thoughts become my companions. I promised to rediscover the woman I was before children, and to meet anew the woman who had grown in the years since.

These days I ease into my morning with my favorite person, my husband Chris. I get more done before 9AM than the person I was before could have done. And the best part is I love every thing I’m doing. It’s honoring promise made to this future version of myself. My confidence is at an all time high. Not to mention my life is thriving in most areas from health to wealth. While I understand that some people are dreading the empty nest. I’ve looked forward to it. The kids I invest in so much have launched and are now blossoming into the independent adults I knew they could be. And now it’s time for my chapter to blossom.

What are promises you’ve made to yourself ? 

A concept of faith that I’ve applied to my life and relationships 

The Sure! Why not? Concept of faith is defined as when someone presents you with an idea you say Sure! Why not? and listen. If they ask you for feedback you are only allowed to provide positive points of view. That doesn’t mean that later you can’t offer things to look out for or tips for success. Its based on the fact that when someone is sharing something with you for the first time you allow them that initial glow that comes with the excitement of a new idea or dream.

You should start your own business. Sure! Why not?

When we married I was 18 and Chris was 25. We instantly had 2 sons and I got pregnant with our first daughter. By the time I was 19 we were a family of 5. That came with its own challenges but the first one was survival. You know making all the money to pay for needs. Chris was a trim carpenter. He worked for a very kind man who unfortunately died of cancer shortly after we had our first child. This was hard on Chris and he tried working for other companies but it didn’t work out.

With that Moxy that is overflowing with teenagers cause at the time I still was one. I said why don’t you start your own trim carpentry business?  He laughed and said sarcastically, Sure! Why Not? If you can find me builders and figure all the legalities out I’ll do it. 

It took me a week to do the legalities. And 2 weeks to find work. Which was hard because back then there wasn’t internet, email or website. But I did it and he worked his ass off for sometimes as low as $0.25 a square foot. But it was a start and we built that business up together. It was so successful it afforded us to be able to buy cars, work vehicles, trailers, and even two homes. We worked hard and learned a lot of lessons in that first decade of marriage. But the most important lesson was the value of doing something together and earning the confidence that comes with having a life partner at home and at work that is in it as much as you. This has saw us through almost 25 years of marriage.

As a mother of 4 by the time I was 21 I have the concept of learning trial by fire down to an art. In fact, it’s a toxic terrible habit and through the years I have learned that I have lived in so much chaos it is where I find comfort because I’ve known challenge more than peace. The toxic part being I will self-sabotage my own peace. What a terrible habit to do to oneself. 

Here are some ways I’ve tried to redirect this terrible toxic trait.

1. Before I do anything to drastic or pull the trigger on a new idea, I sit with it at least overnight if not longer. As a youth I was very impulsive and would do whatever and face the consequences later. 
2. I talk to my spouse or a trusted companion like my mother. By talking it out I can hear some outside input and move through the pros and cons
3. I don’t talk to more than two people about my idea. This makes me be thoughtful in who I do speak to while also protecting myself from negative energy, gossip, and thoughts 

What is your go to hacks to calm your impulsive ideas, so you don’t give into the temptation of paying the dues later?