Tag: health

The Early Bird Catches the Joy

Clutter, shopping, binge watching television shows, and social media along with countless other habits have become the go to distraction of most people in modern society. What happens when you take those away? The consequence is, boredom and feelings. That’s right when you take away the dopamine high provided by a great deal, or the stylish fit, or that season finale every episode is a build up to, you are left open and bare.

A realization I had and left me feeling melancholy. Until I made a change.

What was the cure for my mental angst?

Getting up before the dawn. That’s the life I lead now I get up when my body is ready no matter what time. So far, it’s been a great experience but some days it’s like well shit now what do I do. Here’s the answer.  

When people find out that I get up at 3am they think I’m some kind of extremist and then they find out I’m an aspiring minimalist. They’re like oh she’s one of those self-improvement assholes. But I’m not really. I didn’t wake up one day and have all these habits. It started with one need. Sleep.

I learned about circadian rhythms watching one of my favorite shows Big Bang Theory. Then I found out that the bed we sleep on, a Sleep Number, has this app that helps give you biofeedback. Within that app after sleeping on the bed for months, I found what my optimal wake up and bedtime were. Then I saw a TikTok that said getting up at the same time each day and going to bed as well were optimal for your health and wellbeing. At this point I felt like the universe was all but screaming at me.

So I made the decision to wake up and go to bed at the same time each day and listen to my body. At first the story I was telling myself is this is stupid, people will think your stupid, what will you do with the time. In all these internal stories I was the narrator and author of in my own head. Once I started doing it I’ll admit it took me weeks before it became a habit. And honestly, I would drink three cups of coffee and scroll, then I started watering my plants, reading, replying to email. Eventually my husband started getting up with me and we learned the value of easing into your day.

Easing into a day is our favorite thing when we camp and vacation. The luxury of not having to rush and have things done by a certain time make our days so much more enjoyable. Since we developed the habit of early to rise early to bed other habits have followed. We work out 4-5xs a week. We have breakfast and dinner together. I usually pack his lunch and my own for the day. We have opportunities to be around each other and exist and just have conversations that come up organically. There are tons of great benefits to this choice. We wake up and look forward to each day. The sense of dread over the day starting has been eliminated. We can spend hours before we have to be anywhere being around each other and tandem scrolling, drinking coffee, sitting on the porch or reading. I water my plants, meditate, say affirmations, make our bed, and am usually ready to leave by 8AM. Sooner if the days’ plans require. We both no longer have any need for sleep aide. We’ve both been fighting insomnia for almost ten years. On average we get about 7-8 hours of sleep a night. I’m beyond happy with the way I live my daily life at this point. Which unfortunately is something that most people can’t say. And to think it all started with getting up before the dawn would bring me the greatest sense of joy?

What say you? Are you going to find your circadian rhythm?

Learning to listen to my own needs: Releasing Mom/Wife Guilt

Last night I went to bed when I first started to feel sleepy. One of the privileges of being a person with grown children is the opportunity I must make time for my own health and wellness. One of those is learning to listen to my own bodies needs and wants. As a parent and wife, I’ve spent most of my life suppressing what I needed and wanted. I was taught by mentors, media, religion and society that to serve was not only necessary but was natural for a wife and mother. We are the nurturers. 

I’m here to say it’s rubbish. 

Living these kinds of principles have hurt my wellbeing and my relationships in ways I’m just now unraveling. Which brings me to going to bed early. Right when I felt tired. Was rewiring my brain to go against this programing. 

Here’s the scene. I’ve been going since 3AM. I have more than accomplished so many of my tasks. I’ve had dinner with my husband. We’ve watched 2 30 min episodes of a favorite show. I make it a point to minimize screen time, so I don’t snack as is a bad habit I have when watching TV. 

I put the dogs to bed and refilled my water. Then I begin to head upstairs. The hubs go, “Are you going to bed?” I say yeah. He makes a sarcastic sound. And I immediately feel my body flush with guilt followed quickly by a bone deep tiredness from the mental load I have carried through the day. 

I take a deep breath and ask. “Did you need something?”  He says no and good night. I go upstairs and start a nightly reset. PJs, brush my teeth, shut the blinds and curtains, turn on the lamp on his side of the bed, stretch, take meds, scroll for a little while, then read until I’m tired. Then I go to sleep. 

While I did get woke up once I had a pretty restful night. I got up at 3AM today with enthusiasm and excitement for the day. 

I think a lot of that has to do with learning to listen to my body and mind but also doing what I feel is needed. Maybe if I’d learned to do this sooner, I could have taught my kids and who knows I could have been more in tune with what their needs were as a mom and delivered that service even better. But with age comes grace with me and others.

What’s your nightly shut down routine?